Relationship status with middle-aged men - a bad transaction?
TRUDE HELÉN HOLE - 28 January 2022
Men like Norwegian Forde Thuen and Peder Kjøs are the reason I do NOT want a man! I've had more than enough idiotic, hairy men without balls, whose life goal is obviously to harass women - this to cultivate their own shocking and pathetic male ego!
Women have been harassed, threatened, abused, killed, raped, harassed, ridiculed, and seen as subordinate to men for hundreds of years - despite the fact that it is the woman who creates, carries, and gives life - and this continues as pure bullying in the media in 2021. This is unworthy! And it's time it ends!
Here is my post in response to the two mentioned's absurd posts in Aftenposten.
Thuen and Kjøs show here a hair-raising and totally unacceptable attitude towards women. The fact that the two of these men are actually being pressured is just as unacceptable - because this is public harassment of half of the world's population and should end!
Middle-aged men - a bad transaction? ” It makes sense to look at the partner hunt as a kind of financial transaction ", Frode Thuen and Peder Kjøs write in a large post in Aftenposten 28.10. Both are well-known psychologists, and this time the post is about women and men, and the search for a partner in adulthood. Thuen and Kjøs use expressions such as "value" and "market value" about mature women who are struggling to find a partner. “
The starting point for the case is that many women who have come a little over the years, struggle to find a new partner after a breakup. Men who are in their 50s or older, often look for slightly younger women ", is the claim, which is the purest thing.
Research shows that the average age difference between men and women in Norway is two to three years, with the man being the oldest. A psychologist should know what he is talking about before opening his mouth. In other words, I have often wondered a lot about both of these psychologists, as I thought they often present a very simplified approach and explanation for a number of issues - especially when it comes to women and men.
I do not expect men who themselves think they are generally a little "simpler" than their complex opposition to be able to understand women's lives. But one should expect some self-insight, also from men and especially psychologists - it is, therefore, time that men like Kjøs and Thuen stop claiming that they "understand" the woman, and often better than herself. It is very passé!
At the very least, they should stop generalizing and putting labels on her - because it's very 1889! Thuen and Kjøs, who present themselves as specialists in women's lives and their “market value”, have not realized that we are living in 2021. So I would like to contribute some information regarding the modern woman in 2021 to nuance the flat and the one-sided image Kjøs and Thuen obviously have of today's women.
The mature woman knows what she wants - and it's NOT a grumpy old man or an idiot like Thuen and Kjøs! For what are we adult women going to do, to put it bluntly - really with a man in 2021? What Thuen and Kjøs, who present themselves as specialists in women's lives and their “market value”, have not realized that we are living in 2021. So I would like to contribute some information regarding the modern woman in 2021 to nuance the flat and the one-sided image Kjøs and Thuen obviously have of today's women. The mature woman knows what she wants - and it is NOT a grumpy old man or an idiot like Thuen and Kjøs! For what are we adult women going to do, to put it bluntly - really with a man in 2021?
What Thuen and Kjøs, who present themselves as specialists in women's lives and their “market value”, have not realized that we are living in 2021. What do we need them for? Slipped a bit on it, because here the so-called "market value" of psychologists comes into the picture. What can a middle-aged man really bring in value into an adult woman's life, when she has everything she needs and arranges everything herself? Is it conceivable that she does not want a man of the same age? It is strange that two well-aged psychologists conclude that women 40+ struggle to find a new partner after a break-up due to their "age". Coming up with this type of generalization is downright foolish!
Not only that - that these two guys at all hang this on one factor and something as idiotically banal as age, which they describe as "value" - is directly embarrassing, and nothing less than another stupid and simplistic performance that adds into the ranks of vassals these two guys actually manage to the playoff! That two older psychologists with so much life experience who constantly operate in public, have no more insight than that - is disturbing. Some may come to believe in them!
So let me nuance a bit; - Is it conceivable that adult women after a break-up do NOT want a new partner, but rather want to prioritize themselves and their own needs? Enjoy life in the hustle and bustle without middle-aged men with an elevated ego, too big belly, too little hair on the head, ponytail does not help - too lose a hanging butt, and not least a too loose undercarriage that only seems like that sometimes?
A bit like the engine of a rusty Lada? And who on top of it all does not, and that despite age - does not know the female anatomy and in general is a bad sex partner? Is it conceivable that this and that despite age - does not know the female anatomy and in general is a bad sex partner? Is it conceivable that this is not tempting? I am just asking.
2021 - equality and gender equality. FYI - women are no longer dependent on a man! A man must therefore show off more than a fancy car and money in the bank, because she probably has too. And in that connection, I will throw forth a tiny, and very unthinkable thought; - is it conceivable that this is precisely the reason why younger women without a car and money found it attractive to let themselves be waited on by a middle-aged man before she meets her peers later in the evening? Or do middle-aged men of 50+ really think that younger ladies will really hang out with them if they didn't have a car and a lot of money? Again, a little self-insight is fine to have, even for men like Kjøs and Thuen.
Mature, independent and up-and-coming women who are confident in themselves do not accept just anything! It should therefore not come as a shock to the two psychologists that women in 2021 probably have a good education and earn their own money. In other words, a mature woman takes care of everything. She pays her bills herself, is also out on the town, and has a car and housing, and possibly also a cottage.
She does not need a husband or husband to call a plumber or a carpenter for her. She picks up her cell phone and calls herself! So what is she really going to do with a middle-aged man who is generally mediocre in bed, if he has nothing more to offer than what she has herself? In two out of three cases, it is the woman who leaves her husband, which is a fact Thuen and Kjøs should be aware of.
The man, on the other hand, often finds the break-up surprising, possibly because he, like Thuen and Kjøs, has not followed the class. When a woman leaves a marriage, it is well thought out. She knows she wants to feel better about herself as a single. In other words, she has processed the process before she leaves the partnership, while the man must process the shock in the time after. And as psychologists may know, one in three divorced men has direct mental health problems two years after a break-up.
This is in addition to struggling with a big and hurt ego. An adult, single woman does not want an emotionally immature and unstable man and men who talk about their exes as witches. That this is more normal than the exception, Kjøs and Thuen should know, because the fact is that many men struggle for a long time after a breakup.
Single, adult women, on the other hand, do not want to get involved with men with large luggage, and then I'm not just talking about the belly. The fact is that when a woman has finished carrying and giving birth to children, raising them for some 20 years, she probably wants to take her body, her time and her life back - and finally and deservedly prioritize herself.
Especially if a cohabitation with the husband is no longer perceived as meaningful. She does not want a new meaningless relationship! While the woman quickly takes her life back and lives it to the fullest, the man often has to deal with emotions he struggles to put into words for up to two years or more after the breakup - and bitterness is often one of them. This we know as adult women.
If Thuen and Kjøs really believe that the free woman - after being downgraded as a psychologist and caregiver for some 20 years for her children - really wants to take on the role of hobby psychologist for a bitter and hurt man who has recently been abandoned by his wife, and who clearly shows anger and contempt not only towards her ex-wife but also for - all other women who show signs of independence- and without payment!
Then they make a shameful mistake. She does not want it! Middle-aged men - a bad transaction? Let's now move the emotional over to the physical, because while a woman often has increased security and increased sex drive with age and especially after the children are out of the nest, it often goes down as we know with the man.
If a mature and wise woman who has often stayed in good shape and can compete with younger women physically, really wants herself a partner or lover - then, of course, she chooses a younger man; one who has a smooth and well-groomed body, who stays in good shape, and to call a spade a spade - one who keeps a few rounds in the straw! She does not choose a newly divorced and bitter middle-aged man of 50+, even though he is full of groats! And especially not those who hunt for younger girls, because it testifies to a lack of self-awareness and emotional immaturity.
So Kjøs and Thuen are possibly right in one thing, that it actually makes sense to look at the "partner hunt" as a kind of financial transaction, which is probably one of the reasons why adult women DROP the "partner hunt" for men of the same age and rather choose to enjoy life as single and happy with casual relationships with younger men in good shape without emotional and physical baggage - precisely because a man of the same age probably is a bad transaction!
I would like to urge men on a general basis to stop generalizing and put the woman in a stall! Women are free, independent people who are able to think and make decisions for themselves. We do not need men to tell us how to think, what to think and not to think, and what it is okay to feel and not feel - and not least what we are worth! We are independent people who are able to think and make decisions for ourselves.
We do not need men to tell us how to think, what to think and not to think, and what it is okay to feel and not feel - and not least what we are worth! We are independent people who are able to think and make decisions for ourselves. We do not need men to tell us how to think, what to think and not to think, and what it is okay to feel and not feel - and not least what we are worth!
We know our own value, and that is precisely why confident, mature women in their prime often choose a non-committal wonderful life if they do not meet a man who is similarly confident in himself and is mentally and emotionally grown! So maybe Thuen and Kjøs should follow the lesson a little more because as psychologists, the mentioned posts are not particularly good advertising for any of them!
Having said that, I would like to end by saying that this post is of course put a little on edge - and that is because the article author would like mature men to understand what is written here. Capichè? The fact is, even adult men like Thuen and Kjøs should take into account - that women make up half of the world's population! It's the woman who creates, carries, gives birth, and gives life to all people here on earth - including you men who in this process only contribute with a small ejaculation!
In other words, the woman is NOT a product that can be placed in a value system in any way! The year is 2021 - not 1821! So it's time for men to stop harassing women and start showing some respect! For this type of bullying that Thuen and Kjøs here front in the media, is completely unacceptable - and I hope both women and men if they need it - other psychologists agree! Preferably a female psychologist - because she probably has more sense than the two combined!
Trude Helén Hole, author, sommelier and artist.
Short about me / this blog - I am an artist , an author , a journalist, a sommelier, and traveller that have experienced a lot of beautiful places all over our amazing world. With that, I have been writing articles for several magazines. You can read about my travels here, about wine here and my books and art right here. Please join this blog if you like, by clicking the FOLLOW icon on the right. Do you want to add me up at YouTube, Instagram, Linkedin, Twitter or Facebook, or see my art or buy my books or wine courses - please do so.
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Trude Helén Hole, New Spirit Communication
Sour minimum pensioner who can afford neither gluttony nor younger ladies.
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